If you spend any time around some corners of the internet, articles with titles like “17 Moves That Drive ALL Women Wild” abound. They make it sound like all women desire the same thing, when in reality it’s all about individual preferences. In fact, there are plenty of things people commonly think women like in the bedroom, but actually don’t. Hey, you know what happens when you just assume something about another person.
That said, a good bit of misinformation about women and sex is still out there. All those stereotypes about size or being able to go all night are just that, stereotypes. Read on to learn more about the things that not all women want in bed.
1. Lasting *Forever* In Bed
Look, at some point it’s just chafing. For some women, intercourse that lasts too long is uncomfortable, or maybe even painful, as relationship counselor Matty Silver explained in The Sydney Morning Herald. The idea of lasting all night is really not everyone’s idea of a good time.
2. Having A Large… Eggplant
There’s no one ideal size for everybody. In fact, women have all sorts of differing opinions about penis size, as explained in Thought Catalogue. Not everyone prefers the larger-than-average ones on a partner.
Look. Don’t just try to go in the backdoor without any prior discussion, preparation, or lube, as noted in Metro. Plenty of women enjoy anal sex, but it’s not something you spring on a new partner without previous discussion. It’s always better to double-check before enjoying this particular activity.
4. Forgoing The Condom
Just don’t do this. The many excuses not to wear a condom are pretty off-putting, as noted in Bustle. It’s kinder (and sexier) to respect the partner’s desire for protection.
5. Skipping Lube
Really, lube can be kind of transformative for sex. And women generally feel positively about lube, as a study in the Journal Of Sexual Medicine found. It’s an extra step, sure, but a little slip can make the whole process more pleasant.
6. Unnecessary Roughness
Granted, some women do enjoy roughness and intense physicality in bed. But unless this is expressly stated, it might be better to err on the side of gentleness. Plenty of women enjoy gentleness when it comes to touching intimate areas, as noted in Glamour. The partner can always increase the pressure and intensity if instructed.
7. Acting Like A Know It All
Confidence in bed is fine, but pushiness can be a turn-off. Open sexual communication is super important for relationship satisfaction, as a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found. Have a chat with the partner about what she actually enjoys, instead of just plowing ahead.
8. Focusing Too Much On The O
Wanting your partner to reach orgasm is fine, but putting unnecessary pressure on them is not. “Sometimes it’s just not going to happen for reasons that are nothing to do with you. Don’t be offended if we can’t!” said relationship expert Tracey Cox in ZM Online.
9. All Talk, No Action
Managing expectations in the bedroom is kind of important. “My least favorite thing men do sexually is to talk a big game before we sleep together . . . and then not deliver. I’m totally cool with guys of different sexual ability, but the worst thing you can do is over-promise and under-deliver,” said Corrine, 29, in Thrillist. It’s better to let your actions speak for themselves.